Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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