He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
