I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
