My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
