Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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