i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
