Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
