this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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