i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
