You're completely useless in the revolution.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
