I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
