he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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