So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
