and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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