I only kidnapped one of them. chill
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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