what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
