I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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