Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
