ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
