Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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