is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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