So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
