but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
