Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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