I want to have your abortion
In America we eat man semen.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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