why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
