wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
