My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
