when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
