its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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