He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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