you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
