I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
