her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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