i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Congratulations! We have a period
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
