So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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