By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
