oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
