Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
