you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
