Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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