Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize