i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
