I want to make a zoo with you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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