y did u give ur computer a hand job?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
