What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
