I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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