i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
