I got chris browned last night
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
