You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
