you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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