Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
tell me about the eggs
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
