But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
