I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
