I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
